About Me...
The Family From Which I Came...
My name is Patricia Couch. I was born in 1973 to my teenage mother Pamela. The stories she tells of my birth are not the most pleasant. Teen mom's weren't typically treated very well in the 70's. She has always told me stories of how hard it was, how mean the hospital staff were to her, how the doctor screamed and cussed at her, and how they wouldn't let her see me for 3 days. That is the story of my birth. It makes me sad whenever I hear it.
I asked my mom if she thought that I should say anything else about how she felt about the day I was born and she said “You have to always remember to live each day to the fullest. The best gift I ever got was you." She also reminded me of what my Grandmother always said “The time you take to let mean people get to you, was time you were missing out of enjoying life.”
I grew up in a very loving home with my mom and my grandparents until I was twelve. My Aunt Angie, her baby daughter Casey, and Uncle Steve even lived there part of the time. I grew up in a home with no yelling, very little alcohol, and a great sense of security. I loved all of the family around. I love those memories.
My grandmother died when I was 12. It was a terrible tragedy for my entire family. She was the gentle foundation that held us and guided us through life. We all changed a lot after that. My grandfather moved away, I became a teenager, and so much more than I could ever put into words.
The Baby In The Ancient Forest...
After high school I traveled a bit. I lived in Clevland Ohio and Dallas Texas and then made my way back to California
where I grew up. I decided to join the California Conservation Corps and had the chance to live in Klamath California right above the mouth of the Klamath River into the Pacific Ocean
In 1995, when I was 21, I got pregnant with my first son, Rainey. At the time I was living in the most beautiful and spiritual place I was still living in the California Redwoods. I was doing forest work and loving life. During this pregnancy I was so happy. I felt beautiful and healthy. It was amazing. My pregnancy felt so empowering as a woman.
I chose to have my son with an OB/GYN. I remember my first meeting I had with him. I had just read Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin and I wanted to give birth squatting. So I told the doctor. I am never going to forget his response. He said “ I am not a mechanic, and I am not going to put my head on the floor”. That statement has stuck with me ever since and will for the rest of my life.
During my pregnancy I took childbirth classes at the hospital. The classes I took were taught by a nurse that had been a homebirth midwife previously. She opened my eyes. She talked about natural birth, breastfeeding and circumcision. She gave my the tools I needed to make my own choices.
I woke up in the darkness of that beautiful day in the Fall of 1995. I went to the bathroom and had my first contraction. It was a hard one. I knew my cervix had already started to open because the night before I lost my mucous plug. I decided to put two braids in my hair.
My contractions were coming every 10 minutes. It was hard to put two tight french braids into my hair. My contractions must have been getting closer together because I couldn't make it through the first braid without having another strong one. I ultimately accomplished that goal and I was so glad. I didn't want a big mess of tangles after giving birth.
I decided to wake my children's father, Richard, up. I told him that my contractions were 10 minutes apart and he could take a shower and take his time. By the time he was out of the shower it was on. My contractions were coming every few minutes and I had my head buried in a pile of pillows with my bottom up in the air. I was having back labor and ooooo eeeeee that was something else.
Richard quickly got everything together and said we needed to go. I said “NO”. He had to do some convincing to get me into the car. I didn't want to have anything to do with sitting anywhere. We ultimately got into our little old Subaru and headed up highway 101 on our 30 minutes journey to the hospital. It was a long ride, a very long ride. It was hard to sit on my bottom, but I did it any way for safety sake. I must have kept my eyes closed most of the way because I only remember one turn. to this day when I drive down the 101 I see the tree that reminds me of my labor.
We arrived at the hospital and they put me into a wheelchair and took me to admitting. I told them I was already admitted. It didn't matter--I still had to sign several papers.
When I finally got the the OB unit they checked my cervix. I don't remember what they said I was laboring too hard to care. I was really in the zone. I had my own perfect rhythm and nothing could mess with it. I imagine I was probably 6 or 7 centimeters dilated. I felt alive, I felt strong, I felt like a birth goddess. My labor was amazingly powerful.
I was then taken to my LDRP room. I didn't want to walk, shower or sway. I laid on my left side chanting my mantra over and over “Everything is going to be ok, everything is going to be ok”. My whispered mantra gave me strength. It took me to a place deep in my soul that I had never met before. This place was my power, my strength, my belief. this place gave me a trust in birth and the entire process.
Between contractions I would close my eyes. I would lay still, calm and quiet. My mind was clear.
My labor was quick and powerful. I felt like I needed to go the bathroom and I was not permitted to do so. I really did have to go and I went. I went all over the doctors shoe. OH MY!! It was the only part of my labor that was disappointing to me. I knew what was going on with my body and it was not honored. I think that my bodily functions gave us a whole lot more privacy. The staff all left while I pushed privately.
When the staff returned I then got up into a squatting position curled around my pregnant belly and watched my body open as I birthed my first son. His head came out facing down, he turned to the right and I could see his beautiful face and then he was in my arms. Richard and I looked at each other and knew his name was Rainey is was so pure and gentle.
I created someone and gave birth to him with all my power, all with my body. I will never forget that beautiful Fall morning in 1995 that my son Rainey Kalon was born. He weighed 9lbs 10oz and was 21 inches long, 5 days before his due date.
After his birth I had great care from the hospital staff. All of the nurses had been midwives in various counties. This is the event that made me want to pursue a life career in the field of birth. The nurses which had previously been midwives were so caring and compassionate.
The Birth Dream Continues; A Journey Into Midwifery...
We moved to Oregon in the middle of 1996 when Rainey was 6 months old. His birth had changed me and I really wanted to get connected to the childbirth community but I wasn't quite sure how. So I just started talking to people, and that was the key.
I met a beautiful pregnant woman named Shannon at the Eugene Saturday Market and I told her I wanted to become a midwife. She connected me with a study group led by a midwife. It was so exciting, but scared too. This was all so new for me.
I ultimately did make it to those class. I studied Midwifery in that group for about a year. I learned so much. I listen to lectures, read books, talked about birth and also did some postpartum doula work for her clients.
After a year I decided to go to a different study group. I then met another midwfe. I went to study groups with her for 3 years or so. There was still so much to learn. This midwives style of midwifery and her personality really resonated with me. When I became pregnant with my second son, Oak, there was no question who my midwife would be.
Another Baby; My Homebirth Baby...
During my pregnancy with Oak my eyes opened even wider. I saw the difference in the care I was receiving. My prenatal appointments always lasted an hour or more. I came to understand the idea of mothering the mother. Our relationship became one of trust and connection.
Life had many challenges throughout my second pregnancy. I was the client that called a lot and needed a lot of comforting and compassion, which was always given to me. Midwifery care was the only care that would have fit into my pregnancy with Oak.
Although life had it's challenges my pregnancy was uneventful. I stayed very healthy and I exercised a lot riding my bike about 5 miles a day to and from work. I felt the beauty of pregnancy again and even had naked pregnancy portraits done out in the woods.
The Saturday before my due date I went down to the Saturday Market because I wanted to walk my baby out. I was feeling ready and tired. I walked and walked. I was so ready--I really really wanted the baby to come. Everyone wanted to know if I thought it would be soon. I really wasn't able to connect with the intuition of when he was coming at that time. I just knew my body was getting tired and I was ready to hold a new baby. I continued to walk.
In the darkness of the morning I again woke up went to the bathroom and started labor. My first contraction was hard, just like my last birth. So I went on with my birth routine and braided my hair, which was easier this time because I chose not to do french braids.
I woke up Richard and then called a friend that planned to assist my midwife in my birth. I asked my friend to bring me some chocolate milk. I was having a craving. I didn't want food just some source of energy.
By the time it got there I didn't want it anymore. Oh the tides of labor, from one moment to the next.
I was laboring hard and fast but I wasn't really connected to the idea. I was staying home for this birth so I didn't have to think of all the things I needed to do to get to the hospital. Time was nonexistent to me; I labored, got into my rhythm and that was all that mattered.
Richard decided to call the midwife and tell her what was going on. She asked him to ask if I wanted her to come over. I didn't know. I really didn't. I was in the labor zone. I wasn't paying attention to how many contractions I was having. I just was. My midwife decided to walk over. It was only 4 blocks.
I had to change positions a lot. Oak was acynclitic, which means his head was positioned a little funny in my pelvis. His position also meant my contractions hurt more than my last birth.
When I gave birth to my first son I was very quiet and peaceful. When I gave birth to Oak I was loud and in constant motion. I was in touch with my instincts with both births. I listened to my bodies cues and followed the direction that they led me.
Even though my labor felt so much harder, everything felt so right. I remember some funny things about that night: my dog snoring; my cat getting into the Midwifery box and knocking everything over; the hot; the cold. It was great. It felt so natural to give birth in my space.
I vividly remember my moment of despair during my labor with Oak. I said “something is wrong, I can't do this, something is wrong”. The midwife calmly looked at me and said “ Patricia is the baby ok?” I thought for only a couple of seconds and said “yes”. I connected with the baby and listened to what was going on within me. Joni then listened to my baby and checked my cervix. I was completely dilated with a cervical lip and the baby's head was still at an angle in my pelvis. I had just made it through transition.
I rolled over onto my side and put my leg up on the midwife's shoulder and began pushing. Pushing was all that I could do. I was loud and determined. I pushed and pushed. My amniotic bag broke.
I pushed more. Then I rolled over kind of onto my back and pushed harder. Oak never crowned slowly, nor
did he come out slow and gentle. When Oak was born he shot out to his belly.
Everyone in the room was quite shocked. My baby wasn't even born all the way and he was staring at me, he even made a noise. I couldn't' push anymore. I fell back and told them they had to pull him out.
Richard tried to pull him out but he would come out. I really had to push him out. I didn't think that could happen. I reached down pushed and pulled my new little baby up to my chest. It was a boy, just what I wanted.
Another Fall birth, a beautiful birth. In 1999 I had gave birth to my second son Oak Jaden. I very different birth. A birth that reminded me that I am strong and I can do anything. Oak, what an appropriate a name for a child that gave me such strong will. He weighed 9 lbs 1 oz and was 21 inches long. My labor lasted five hours from beginning to end.
Milk Mama;Milk for Two
After Oak was born I went to visit my midwife one day. She told me about friends Peter and Anne adopting a baby. The baby was not doing well on formula , so they were looking for breast milk for their son. She asked if I would think about because I make so much milk. At first I though no way, I actually said no. When I went home I thought more about how my first son thrived form my milk and how my son oak was thriving. I called my midwife and asked her to contact the family.
Peter called me as soon as my midwife spoke to him. He was very excited, as he knew the benefits of breast milk. Peter has been a doctor for many years. He brought me over a really great breast pump right away.
I pumped milk for baby Sampson for about 5 months. Everything I turned the the pump on my baby, Oak, would wake up and want to nurse too, like Pavlov's dog. Both babies were growing well and healthy.
In February my oldest son Rainey cam home from pre-school with a cold and a very high fever. He was well in a couple of days. Unfortunately, my baby Oak caught this sickness. Oak was 2 ½ months old and very sick. He was grunting and unable to breath very well. So I called Peter. He came over and checked on Oak. He said we needed to go to the hospital and he took us.
the hospital was a very surreal experience. It was if time sped up and slowed down all at once. We were there a week; my baby was diagnosed with RSV. He was very sick.
While Oak was sick I continued to pump milk for Sampson. the hospital actually brought me a pump. I gave them a lot of milk that week, about a Snapple bottle and half a day. I always laugh about putting the milk into Snapple bottles, but it worked.
It was exhausting an sad having a sick baby. Oak couldn't nurse, he didn't want to. So thank goodness for Sampson, otherwise my milk supply may have gone down.
After a week passed it was nice to go home. We were able to get back into our normal routine. I continued to pump the milk and Peter would bring my some groceries and sabbath bread every Saturday. I never nursed Sampson, only gave him milk that I had previously pumped. Every time I held Sampson he would wiggle down into a nursing position and I would just giggle and think to him, you have to get the milk for his mommy or daddy.
Sampson and Oak have both grown up so much, two healthy boys, with me as there milk mommy. Sampson lives in Arizona and we don't really know each other, but there will always be a connection. I hope someday when they are grown I will be able to tell Oak and Sampson about the connection that they had when they were very very young.
I am proud that I have the opportunity to experience true sharing of myself.
Uncomfortable Times; Ultimate Changes
Unfortunately life isn't always fun or easy. After Oak was born there were several struggles. My marriage was hard and life's many economic expectations were taking their toll. Poverty can affect people in so many ways. When other stressors combined with what was already going on it was to much.
Life is so fragile, as are our emotions. When the death of a loved one happened, it was more than I could bear at that time in life. I was filled with deep sadness and confussion. Everyone around me felt it, and it was hard and sad. My world was upside down.
My marriage suffered more and ultimately ended. This was the hardest time in my life and I doubt anything could compare. There was so much suffering. The hardest part was that my children suffered.
I chose to get do some nursing work after that. I became a C.N.A. and worked in a nursing home for 6 months. I wanted a better understanding about the cycles of life. I met so many the amazing elders that our society puts away. I sat with a few of them as they died; I midwifed them on their way out. What an honor it truly was.
I then got a job in one of the local hospitals, working in OB. I was trained as an OB Tech and I loved it. I had the opportunity to see so many births including waterbirths. It was so amazing to watch so many babies emerge into the world and to help the mommies and daddies transition into their new roles.
I worked at the hospital for 3 years, with one brief hiatus in an Arizona hospital working in OB and telemetry. I learned a lot from seeing so many different and unique experiences, from low risk to high risk. I was even able to learn how homebirth midwives can make a smooth transport for home to the hospital.
In April 2004, while working at the hospital I was offered a job in the local Midwifery Clinic. I had already been teaching childbirth classes there for about a year and I new the CNM's that worked there. I was so excited to take a job there, it was my opportunity to observe a lot of prenatal care. I also learned the many trials of being a CNM in today medical climate. Our clinic will close forever on October 31st, 2006, due to increase malpractice insurance cost, and lack of physician support. It is sad and hard to understand because the practice has very low cesarean rate and a high level of support for birth consumers.
I believe that all of the experiences that I have had thus far are all very beneficial to the care I provide. I value my many different teachers, some of which may not even know how much they taught.
Family 
In September 2006 I married Darren. We have such a great relationship. I love him so much. He is so supportive to my midiwfery path which is a very important piece of my ability to practice. He is so great. When he knows I am on-call of that a mama is in labor he always helps me by putting my things by the door. I really love this about him.
With this realtionship came the expansion of family. Darren has 3 beautiful children that live with us during the summers. So if you haven't figured it out... that makes 5. Our home is buzzing with their busy little minds in motion all summer long plus some bouncing off of walls. It is really fun. They all like each other most of the time (wink wink).
Coming Soon
Sacred Waters
Mexico
